One moment, you’re drowning in laundry, navigating teenage moods, and questioning if they’ll ever clean their room. The next? They’re gone, off living their independent lives, while you sit in your unnaturally quiet house, wondering if they remember you exist.
For me, this transition has been particularly amusing. My daughter (23) is all the way in Australia, yet she talks to me more now than when she lived at home. WhatsApp calls, life updates, and even moments of genuine affection have strangely brought us closer together, despite distance. Meanwhile, my son (20), who technically still lives part-time here, has developed the communication style of a man who believes words are a luxury. Ever since meeting his girlfriend, our conversations have been reduced to nods, grunts, and the occasional one-word response unless, of course, he needs something.
It’s a strange adjustment, but staying connected as an empty nester isn’t about forcing interaction; it’s about finding the right balance between showing up, stepping back, and occasionally resisting the urge to send a “HELLO???” text when they forget to reply.
Communication Evolves—For Better and Worse
I used to think that having my daughter on the other side of the planet would make communication more difficult. Turns out, I was wrong. Distance has somehow made her more invested in staying in touch, regular WhatsApp calls, detailed updates, and moments where she genuinely seems to enjoy catching up. Maybe she misses home. Perhaps she realises I’m not so bad after all. Or maybe, being far away means she gets to choose when we talk, rather than being ambushed by my questions in the kitchen.
Meanwhile, my son, who is still technically here, treats conversation like a rationed commodity. He’s happy, he’s thriving, he’s got a girlfriend, but my once chatty child now responds to me with a grunt that vaguely translates to “I acknowledge your presence.” I’ve learnt not to take it personally. Proximity doesn’t guarantee connection. In fact, sometimes, the further they go, the more they appreciate what they left behind.
Mastering the Art of WhatsApp Calls
If you’re an empty nester, WhatsApp becomes your lifeline. It’s the modern version of letter-writing, instant, convenient, and, most importantly, free (because international calls will destroy your bank balance).
Timing is everything. You quickly learn the delicate dance of time zones. Call too early, and they’ll answer groggy; too late, and they’ll already be out living their social life. You take what you can get. Some calls last five minutes; others stretch into long, wonderful conversations about their life updates, travel plans, and occasionally, their actual emotions. You embrace unpredictability. Calls sometimes come at odd hours, usually when something funny happens, or they need advice, or they miss home for a moment.
Gone are the days of yelling “Dinner’s ready!” and getting an instant response. Now, connection requires a bit of effort—but it’s worth it when those moments arrive.
The Reality of Family Group Chats
The family WhatsApp chat is its own ecosystem. It’s mostly memes, occasional birthday reminders, and the rare “How’s everyone doing?” message. But it works. Memes keep them engaged. Nothing bridges generations quite like sending your child a hilariously bad dad joke. Casual updates matter. A simple “Hope you’re doing well” text might not always get a response, but it reminds them you’re there. It’s not deep, but it keeps the thread alive. Some days, you chat properly; other days, it’s just a few likes and emojis. However, it keeps the family feeling connected without putting pressure on them.
Finding the Balance Between Showing Up and Stepping Back
One of the hardest lessons of empty nesting? Knowing when to message, when to call, and when to leave them alone. Check in, but don’t overdo it. A short “Thinking of you” message works better than a full interrogation. Let them come to you sometimes. You don’t always have to be the one to reach out. Give them space, and they’ll surprise you. Handwritten letters might seem outdated, but sending a real letter from home carries weight. Nothing says “I care” quite like a surprise envelope in the post—especially one that doesn’t ask for money.
It’s a fine line. You’re still their parent, but you’re also someone they want to hear from, not someone they feel obligated to report back to.
Share Your Own Journey
Just because they’ve moved on doesn’t mean your world stops. Tell them about your own adventures. Whether it’s travel, hobbies, or just something new you’ve tried, let them see you’re thriving. Be interesting. If your conversations revolve entirely around missing them, they’ll feel guilty rather than engaged. Show them you’ve got plenty going on. Visiting without moving in. If they’re abroad, visit, but don’t overstay your welcome. Tempting as it may be, they probably don’t want you setting up a second home in their new city.
This stage of life isn’t just about keeping track of them, it’s about embracing your own growth too.
Conclusion
Empty nesting is an adjustment, but it’s also an opportunity for growth.
It’s about shifting from daily oversight to lifelong connection. It’s learning that sometimes, WhatsApp calls from Australia feel more meaningful than daily chats ever did at home. It’s realising that, while your son may respond with a grunt, he still shows up, just in his own way.
And above all, it’s understanding that staying connected isn’t about constantly checking in. It’s about creating space where they feel comfortable reaching out, and knowing that when they do, you’ll be right there.
And if all else fails? Just keep sending memes. That usually works.