The house is quiet. I can finally hear myself think, which might be thrilling or just plain weird, depending on the day. For years, the daily soundtrack was the chorus of kids’ laughter, the clatter of shoes by the door, and the low-level stress hum about lost homework. Now, with the kids out living their best lives, I’m staring down the empty nest stage. Spoiler: It’s not all sad. I’ve stumbled upon the idea that it can actually be a pretty great chance for a reboot. If you’re in the same boat, or headed in that direction soon, here’s how I found new reasons to get excited about the future, and how you might, too.
Understanding the Empty Nest, and Why It Feels So Weird
This isn’t just about having fewer grocery bags to carry. When your kids move out, it’s a massive change, especially if parenting has been front and centre for a big part of your life. Many people told me things would feel “quieter” or “emptier,” which I heard as “You’ll finally be able to sit down without someone asking what’s for dinner.” But the transition brought out all kinds of feelings—pride, relief, excitement, and a few sneak-attack tears.
Family life shapes your routines, friendships, and even your self-image at times. Suddenly, with the nest cleared out, you might wonder who you are without the daily hustle. It’s completely normal to feel like you’re missing your cues for what comes next. Just know you’re definitely not the only one Googling “hobbies for adults with too much time.”
Getting Your Groove Back: Tracking Down Passions and Interests
With the kids launched, I realised I had time again—actual grown-up time. No more wrangling for bathroom space or playing referee during the morning rush. So, I started poking around for stuff that made me feel excited or even just mildly interested, like I did back when my only concern was what color to paint my bedroom.
- Try Old Hobbies: Do you remember when you used to paint, play the guitar, or garden for fun? I dusted off my tools I had spent a fortune on and built a workshop to restart my passion for silversmithing and found it pretty relaxing, I even attend a monthly market to recoup a bit of the money and socialise.
- Learn Something New: Signing up for a cooking class or learning a language online isn’t just about the skill; it’s refreshing to use your brain in totally new ways. I have signed up for Spanish, not going well, remember everything for 24hrs, then poof! All gone again. At least I try.
- Get Active: Many people join hiking clubs, community gyms, or yoga groups. I started with a walking group. Not only is it healthy, but it’s also more social than walking solo through the neighbourhood muttering about the state of the mail.
Keep an open mind, and try out anything that sparks curiosity. You might surprise yourself. If you have an interest you haven’t explored since you were a kid, now is the perfect moment to check out local classes, read new books, or even volunteer for causes that light you up. Introducing variety can breathe new life into your daily routine. Whether it’s crafting, meditating, or simply exploring new sights, giving yourself permission to try new things is a crucial part of jumpstarting this next adventure.
Building New Routines That Make Sense For You
The best part of this stage is being the boss of your own schedule. No after-school pickups or last-minute science projects. I took this as a sign to mix up my routine. I went so far as to have a complete career change, and I love it. Evenings are for strolls, podcasts, and, okay, maybe a nap or two. Mornings start slower, with a second cup of coffee and time to actually finish reading an article.
While too much freedom might feel overwhelming at first, building little routines around stuff you like makes the days feel a lot more satisfying. I keep a list of things I want to try, recipes, books, and small trips, so I always have a backup when boredom starts lurking. Try meal planning new recipes or set goals for physical fitness, such as walking a certain distance each week. These small benchmarks can help you keep track of progress and add structure without feeling boxed in.
Connecting With Others When You’re Not “Mom” or “Dad” 24/7
You may also notice some gaps in your social life after the launch. It’s easy for friendships to take a back seat while raising kids. With more free time, I called up old friends and even joined a trivia night group. (Turns out I know way too much about ‘90s sitcoms.)
If you’re unsure where to start, consider checking out local community boards, online groups, or hobby meetups. Volunteering is another way people find new circles and a sense of meaning. Getting out of the house, at least sometimes, can really give a boost to your mood. If you’ve always wanted to join a book club or a gardening group, now’s your chance to meet people who share those interests. And don’t hesitate to invite neighbours or acquaintances for coffee or a walk, it’s often how great new friendships start. If you’re unsure where to begin, consider starting a local community Facebook group. It will grow naturally and take on its own life, forming groups along the way.
Figuring Out Your Relationship With Your Grownup Kids
This part surprised me the most. Your relationship with your kids doesn’t evaporate, but it definitely changes. You’re still the parent, but you’re transitioning into a more advisory or supportive role, rather than the Director of Operations. When my kids call, I listen more and give less advice—unless they actually ask (which is about as rare as a unicorn).
- Set New Boundaries: You both get more independence now. Letting go a little more and focusing on trust really helps everyone feel respected.
- Stay in Touch, But Not Too Much: It’s tempting to check in daily, but I try to give space and only pester them with important stuff (like funny dog videos or family news).
- Enjoy the Visits: When they do come home, I focus less on making things “just like old times” and more on having fun together. Board games, movie nights, and, yes, raiding my fridge are all still on the agenda.
As your grown-up kids find their own way, respecting their independence while staying available for support is the sweet spot. If you find that you’re missing them, consider writing an occasional letter, sending a care package, or planning a special activity for their next visit.
Common Challenges and How I Tackle Them
Navigating this new phase isn’t always smooth. Here are a few of the bumps I’ve hit, and what worked for me:
- Loneliness: Sometimes, the house feels too quiet. On those days, I text friends, call a sibling, or get outside for some human contact—even if it’s just a chat with my neighbour about their quirky lawn ornaments.
- Overplanning: Initially, I filled my schedule with numerous tasks to keep myself busy. That got exhausting fast. Now, I leave some open time and don’t feel guilty about slow days.
- Worrying About the Kids All the Time: I stopped panicking every time their phone goes straight to voicemail. Knowing that they can handle things and that I gave them a good start helps ease my worry.
An extra tip: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support if you’re feeling stuck. Sharing your experience with a counsellor or support group can help you gain perspective, feel less alone, and find new ways to cope with this significant change.
Making Room for New Goals
After a while, I realised I could set goals that were totally unrelated to parenting. I even made a vision board, which was half inspirational quotes and half magazine clippings of beach vacations. My goals now include things like travelling, picking up new skills, and spending more quality time with my partner. Everyone’s list will look different, and that’s the best part. Consider adding goals related to creativity, health, or giving back to your community. With fewer day-to-day parenting demands, you truly can pursue goals just for you.
Your Empty Nester FAQs
If you’re navigating this new phase, you may have a few questions. Here are some I asked myself, or wished someone had answered for me:
Question: How can I overcome feelings of guilt about enjoying my newfound cope with the awkwardness when people constantly ask about my kidsfreedom?
Answer: It helps to remember that your happiness isn’t a sign that you don’t care about your kids. You’ve put in the effort raising them. Now it’s okay to focus on your well-being and growth. Think of it as showing your family that embracing change is part of life.
Question: What if my partner and I are struggling to reconnect?
Answer: It’s pretty common to rediscover each other when the nest empties. Try activities that you both enjoy, or even something new that you can do together. This is a great time to relearn who you each are, outside of parent mode. Sometimes, talking openly about new dreams for the future can bring you closer.
Question: How do I cope with the awkwardness when people constantly ask about my kids?
Answer: People mean well, but your life doesn’t have to revolve around your kids’ updates. Share what you want, but also feel free to mention something fun or interesting you’re up to now. Conversation is a two-way street. Steer the topic toward things you enjoy and let others know you’re embracing new adventures, too.
Final Thoughts: Thriving as an Empty Nester
This isn’t about figuring everything out overnight. It’s a process, sometimes bumpy, sometimes surprisingly fun.
Embrace the change. Try new things, even if they feel outside your comfort zone. And give yourself credit for navigating this huge life shift.
What’s one unexpected joy you’ve discovered since becoming an empty nester? Share in the comments.
I’d love to hear! This isn’t about figuring everything out overnight. It’s a process—sometimes bumpy, sometimes surprisingly fun.